10.26.2005 8:36 p.m.
JournalCon 2005 - Part III

Thursday, October 20th - PM

Alright, where was I? Oh right. The drag queen cabaret!

How exactly can I describe the joy that is the fabulousness of drag queens? I'm not sure that I can. Alas, I shall try.

I can tell you that within ten feet of the front door, I was totally amused by the fact that the hostess LOVED Mare's fantastically awesome and girly clutch purse that she bought at Weetacon. (Seriously, you have to see it. It's just so...MARE.)

Within the first five minutes of being there, my face hurt from laughing. Most of it was from the waitress's total fascination with - and inability to keep her hands away from - Minarae's cleavage. I could understand her fascination. After all, the girls were looking pretty awesome. I just don't know that I would have had the balls (pardon the pun) to walk up to her and start bouncing them like basketballs.

The food was TO. DIE. FOR. Delicious food, along with happy drunkenness, seemed to be the main themes of the weekend. The chicken roulade, grilled veggies and potatoes were so freaking awesome, but the "linner" we had eaten around 3 PM messed up my eating schedule, so I wasn't hungry enough to finish it. Dammit. I still would really like my leftovers. Can someone arrange that? Thanks.

The actual cabaret show rocked. Tootie, the hostess, was awesome. Witty as hell, lightning-quick with the humor and entertaining as Cher, Joan Jett and Sade. She loses points for having a better ass than I do. We also saw performances from Diana Ross, who staggered around the stage with a bottle of champagne; Michael Jackson, who freaked me right the hell out while he was walking around before the show, but was pretty good during performances; Janet Jackson, who did some serious ass-shaking with Pratt; and Tina Turner, who must have done a ton of crack in order to get the energy she showed on stage.

When Tootie came out as Sade, she brought up a guy and his fiance who were getting married the next Saturday. She went through a whole thing about needing to know how to give a good blowjob, to prepare them both to do blowjob shots. It was the funniest freaking thing I think I have ever seen. Especially since the mother and father of the bride were there, along with the grandparents of the groom. HI-LAR-I-OUS.

(If you haven't seen the pictures yet, you need to check them out. They rock, even though my camera sucks ass.)

After the show ended, I bought a t-shirt (which I'm wearing right now), Mr. SG got the waitress's e-mail address*, and we headed back to the hotel. Mr. SG and I were tired, so we got ready for bed and watched ER before turning out the light.

Woo! Rock stars!

*If anyone who was there wants her e-mail address, shoot me an e-mail.

Listening to: America's Next Top Model. Shut up.
Reading: Ghost Town by Heather Graham


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