Science, Anti-Depressants and the Joys of Marriage

08.23.2004 9:05 p.m.
JournalCon Recap

Warning: LONG. If you have a short attention span, do not pass GO, do not collect $200, and go immediately down to the list at the bottom of the page.

Okay, so...

The recap.

JournalCon 2004, ya'll.

It freaking ROCKED.

Even though we never got to actually karaoke (though not for lack of trying), and even though the trip did begin with getting up at 3 AM on Friday morning, it was SO worth it.

Where else to start but from the beginning?

Friday, August 20th

1:30 AM I wake up, convinced we've slept through the alarm, totally missed our flight, and are going to miss all of JournalCon, which makes me want to cry. Look at clock, see time, go back to sleep.

2:00 AM Wake up, convinced we've REALLY slept through the alarm, missed our flight, and are hosed. Look at clock, see time, go back to sleep.

2:45 AM Wake up, convinced we've seriously, for real this time, slept through the alarm and missed our flight. Look at the clock, see the time, decide I hate my nighttime meds because they apparently forgot that they're supposed to work tonight, conclude that I'm really freaking tired of waking up, and go back to sleep.

3:15 AM Alarm goes off. Husband hits snooze.

3:22 AM Remember the series of dreams, determine that I'd better get up before they actually come true.

4:00 AM Successfully finish getting ready, finish packing (thankfully remembering both my toothbrush AND deoderant for this trip) and get everything loaded in the car. Ask my husband if he has any idea why I feel the need to pack 3 pairs of shoes and 10 pairs of underwear for a 3-day trip. He doesn't know either.

5:10 AM Arrive at Lansing's airport, surprised by the fact that I didn't sleep at all on the way there. Realize I need coffee. Desperately. Get some coffee. Drink it. Yay.

(For the fun of Dulles Airport, and the joys of getting acquainted with public transportation in DC, go here.)

9:15 AM Walking from the Metro to our hotel, we realize that people in Washington D.C. are incredibly nice. Every time we stop and stand around like idiots, trying to figure out which way to go, someone stops and says "Where are you trying to go?" and then actually GIVES US DIRECTIONS. It's not like they're taking a poll here. And they don't just walk right by and ignore you either. Nice.

9:30 AM Get to our hotel, nearly pee ourselves with excitement at the awesomeness that is the lobby, THEN nearly pee ourselves with excitement at the fact that we get to actually CHECK IN. EARLY.

9:35 AM Get up to the room, where I immediately proclaim that I want to marry the Hotel Helix and have its babies. We have an ORANGE sink top in the bathroom, with a ROUND steel sink. And a huge print of a dude surfing as our headboard-type-thing. And a fish-eye mirror. I then start pointing out the things I want to steal when we leave.

9:50 AM Decide we're starving to death. Walk around a few blocks until we find a Cosi cafe, buy a strawberry lemonade while we're waiting for them to be able to make our sandwiches.

10:00 AM Order sandwiches. A Tuscan Pesto Chicken and a Tandoori Chicken sandwich, both of which taste beyond exquisite at this point.

11:00 AM - 2:15 PM Shop. Shop, walk, shop, walk, shop, walk.

2:30 PM Head back to hotel to take a nap before going down to registration.

4:00 PM Wake up. Shower. Together. I won't go into any details, but I'll just say that the end result of said shower was water from the tub all the way to the door of the bathroom, essentially creating a pond. Oops. Nothing like trashing part of the room on the first day there. And really, who needs dry towels anyway?

5:00 PM Go downstairs. Register. Meet a lovely lady named Mo Pie, who is the first one to come up and talk to us. She wins the Friendliness award. After two glasses of champagne and an Allegra D, I remind my husband that I haven't eaten in seven hours, and it might be a good idea if we do that soon. Preferably before I pass out.

6:00 PM Go down a block and over to try out an Ethiopian restaurant. Look around. Realize we're the only Caucasians in the place. Then my husband points out that I'm the only woman. Thanks, honey. We eat. It's pretty darn good stuff. Mine's so hot that it makes my lips and throat burn, but I can't seem to stop eating it.

7:00 PM - 8:30 PM Walk all over hell and back looking for Chambord to go with the champagne and/or vodka, sugar, and lemons for lemon drop shots. Also buy a bottle of delicious Riesling. (Because OBVIOUSLY the free champagne every night just wasn't enough.)

8:45 PM Get back to hotel. Wash hands. Realize fingers still smell very strongly like dinner. Wash hands again. The smell remains. Lament the fact that there's never any gasoline or turpentine around when you need it. Wash hands a third time, this time like you'd see on ER, scrubbing each side of each finger for a few seconds at a time. By the end of the hand-washing experiment, my hands no longer smell, and I can do minor surgery without contaminating anyone.

9:00 PM Decide against doing minor surgery.

9:30 PM Get ready for bed and watch TV until going to sleep.

I feel old.

Saturday, August 21st

I get up early, and then realize things actually start an hour after I thought they did. I go back to bed for a bit, then got up and got ready, and went downstairs to get a bit of food before going the my first panel. I walk in, see the trays and trays of delicious-looking pastries, croissants and muffins, and ask my husband, "Where's the protein?" Then I worry about my blood sugar plummeting while I'm listening to people speak.

I go to the first panel, which is a getting-to-know-you type of session, and immediately revert back to when I was in school, and used a mantra of "Don't pick me. Don't pick me. Don't pick me." Luckily, I'm not picked. I hate public speaking. (Heh. That's why I have this here diary.)

That session ends, and I run upstairs to put on some lipstick and get my husband's Pocket PC to take notes on during the panel about professional writing. I learn quite a bit of new information, and feel smarter for having attended.

The husband and I then go find some lunch. We eat, then head back to the hotel in the rain so I can rest up for a few minutes before attending my Secret Journaling panel.

Because life is not fair, while I'm sitting in the panel, drinking a mimosa and laughing my ass off, my husband is up in our room arguing with Nextel. He's still on the phone with them when I head back up...and for quite a while after that.

(Nextel blows goats... I'm just sayin'.)

I think I took a nap after that. We eventually got ready again, and headed downstairs for the champagne hour, where the highlight of my trip was achieved by meeting TranceJen. Of course, since I am a giant anti-social dork, it's actually my husband who introduces me to her. (I knew I married him for a reason!) So, we hang out with Jen, Weetabix (who gives EXCELLENT backrubs, by the way), the adorable Sassy, the famous Chauffi, and a few others. Quite a few people went out to dinner while the husband and I hung around the hotel for a while before heading to Hamburger Mary's, where karaoke was to take place.

We arrive, choose a table, and the bartender comes over to take our order. We tell him we're there for karaoke, to which he replies, "What? That was cancelled!"

My husband and I were both stunned. We were SO looking forward to karaoke.

Fast forward a few hours, after about 40 other JC'ers have shown up. My husband spent about an hour trying to help the seemingly "new" karaoke guy get the system working. I spent most of that time talking to an absolutely stunning 6'3" drag queen named Chablis. (Yes, like the Lady Chablis from Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.) We talk for what seems like actually a very short period of time about topics ranging from how we met our spouses to bra sizes to why Bush sucks; from why I'm in town to good places to shop for lovely items like the dress she's wearing to HOW IN THE HELL CAN SHE BE 49 YEARS OLD. She looked MAYBE 35. Pratt came over after my husband gave up on getting karaoke to work, and we all chatted for a bit before my husband and I decide we're tired and old and feeling in the mood for something naughty, and we stumble back to our hotel.

Then I passed out. (Sorry, honey.)

Sunday, August 22nd

The morning was spent wrapping up JournalCon things, saying goodbye to people, slowly getting more hungover as the morning went on, and checking out of our hotel.

Then, we spent SIX MOTHER FREAKING HOURS walking around Washington D.C. I'd say we walked at least five miles that afternoon. And I got horribly, horribly (did I mention HORRIBLY?) sunburned. Which made me a REALLY happy camper.

I think I'm going to grab one of my tubes of sunscreen, stick it in my suitcase, and leave it there for all eternity. Apparently even my love of hanging out in pharmacies (CVS, how do I love thee?) cannot help me to remember to buy sunscreen, so as not to have the oh-so-lovely tank top tan/burn lines that I'm currently sporting. Because what? Walking around on a really sunny day in 80-something degree heat in a tank top can allow you to burn? What?

Also, I realize I must have been terribly dehydrated, as I peed twice ALL DAY, even after drinking a Pepsi, a lemonade, a water, and a few more sodas. Eep. My kidneys are used to my 2 liter of water a day habit, and they were NOT HAPPY.

We got home just fine on Sunday night, and listened to the kitties bitch at us about leaving them.

All in all, we both had an awesome, wonderful time. I can't wait to go next year, so hopefully it won't conflict with our 2-week Prague and Budapest trip. I REALLY hope it doesn't.

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If you made it all the way through this, I seriously commend you. It's taken me an hour and a half to write, and probably nearly as long to read. Sorry about that. I just had so many things I wanted to include!

So, if you didn't feel like reading everything, let me sum it up:

-Met tons of wonderful people, even though my shyness was a bit too prevalant.

-Drank like a fish, ate tons of great food, and actually came back weighing less than I did before I left. Buh?

-Attended a couple panels.

-Discovered H&M isn't everything I thought it would be.

-Didn't get to do karaoke.

And, just for fun:

THINGS AZRAEL (the sick kitty with cystitis) PEED ON WHILE WE WERE GONE:

*kitchen counter

*kitchen table

*treadmill

*IN MY FREAKING SHOES