07.06.2004
1:19 p.m.
Fourth of July update
This weekend was WAY too short, and people keep updating and I HAVE to read them, so I've been unable to update until now.
*deep breath*
Jeez.
So.
This weekend.
It was pretty good. Spent quality time with out-of-town family (and in-town family) and the munchkin, watched movie after movie yesterday (Video on Demand owns me), didn't see ANY fireworks, and FINALLY...FINALLY joined the damn gym.
I don't want to be working today. I want to be working OUT.
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I think I'm going to switch medications. I've been on a 25 mg dosage of Paxil CR for about a year and a half now, and I think it's losing effectiveness. I've been sad again lately, without a good reason as to why. My sex drive has been practically non-existent again. ("Sex drive?" my husband says. "More like a slow walk, or a crawl.") I think the weight I've gained since last year might have something to do with the Paxil.
AND, my mild OCD behaviors are still there.
When I begin to annoy even myself, it's time to do something. Apparently calling myself a "freak of nature" and other fun things doesn't eliminate the NEED to check the back door lock every night (sometimes multiple times) before I go to bed.
Then there's the psychogenic excoriation. Still there. Possibly getting worse. When you're worried about once a week that tonight might finally be the night that your fingernail actually falls off due to the lack of skin holding it onto your finger, something must be done.
So, it's time to make another doctor's appointment. For both the med switch as well as taking a look at the mole that lies directly under my bra underneath my arm, that has changed in appearance lately, and occasionally hurts. And sometimes the tissue around it hurts (lymph nodes?). And sometimes I have shooting pain from there into my right breast.
(After telling my parents about that little thing this weekend, my mom said, "Yeah. THAT'S definitely something to just ignore, and hope it goes away." Maybe it's just because of the former babysitter my sister and I had who died of a brain tumor when she was not even 20, caused by a mole that her bra strap rubbed on that became cancerous, and it spreading to her brain. Or not.)
So, I've got to make a doctor's appointment soon. Which I think I'll do just as soon as I finish updating here.
I just hope they can magically remove the mole with THOUGHT, and that it won't involve needles or scalpels or cauterizing or stitches. Or pretty much anything else that hurts.
Yeah.
Fat chance.
HAPPY TUESDAY!!!
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