05.12.2004
9:08 a.m.
Pardon my craziness and Dreams
Last night was probably one of my most disordered nights EVER. Let me show you...
Yesterday, I:
-woke up
-peed
-weighed myself
-nearly cried
-got ready
-went to work
-used the bathroom
-contemplated how much weight I might have lost
-worked
-thought about how fat I have let myself get
-worked some more
-went home
-got undressed
-peed
-weighed
-laid on the couch reading and watching TV
-gave Callie a pretzel to stop her from trying to climb into the bag
-ate the rest of a bag of pretzels
-weighed
-did 200 crunches and various other exercises
-weighed
-painted my nails and toenails
-did 100 more crunches
-weighed
-peed and got ready for bed
-weighed
-watched TV
-peed
-weighed
-went to sleep
I probably weighed myself somewhere between 10 and 15 times throughout yesterday.
Normal people both know that their weight isn't going to vary much during the day, and also don't care so much about what the scale says, right?
Me? Not so much.
I knew I was insane as I was doing it, and I JUST. DIDN'T. CARE.
Hello? PSYCHO!
Ugh. It's days like that when I just don't know about myself.
**********************************
I had a VERY strange dream last night/early this morning. I was in the waiting room of this office that had a huge aquarium in it, like the huge ones you'd find at Sea World or whatever. One entire wall of glass was the side of it. They had some smaller (but still pretty big), tropical looking fish, a manta ray, and this HUGE fish with HUGE teeth. Like a shark, only not with tons of little teeth. It had like 10 HUGE teeth. Which made it scarier somehow.
I watched as the huge fish just ate the manta ray. Crunch crunch...and it was gone. It made me want to cry.
Then this guy came in, and opened some sort of door at the bottom of the wall of glass, and the big fish/shark thing CAME OUT into the waiting room/lobby. I have no idea how it was able to breathe without being in water, or how the door only let the fish out without spilling water everywhere, too.
This other guy came in, saw that the fish was out, and went to...I don't know. Put it back into the tank or something? It bit off most of his hand.
YIKES.
I don't remember much of the rest, but I might have escaped somehow.
It was VERY VERY strange.
I'm still disturbed by it, and I have no idea why. It was just a dream.
Hm.
Hopefully my co-workers wedding shower tonight will help take my mind off of it. That should be fun!
HAPPY WEDNESDAY!
Food I'm craving: nothing, actually
Song in my head: "I just don't know what to do with myself" - The White Stripes
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