09.16.2003 8:40 a.m.
Bad news and good news

After having gone through leukemia (which went into remission), two bouts with skin cancer, epilepsy, and a couple heart attacks, I thought my grandpa was immortal. Apparently I was wrong. He passed away yesterday morning in his favorite chair. My dad went to pick him up for a doctor's appointment yesterday morning and found him. At least he died as he would have wanted.

He was 92, still living in his own apartment, and still driving. I just thank *whoever* that he didn't die while he was driving somewhere.

I'm trying to decide if I'm a horrible person because I haven't really cried yet. My mom told me the news last night on the phone when I got home from class, and all I felt was relief that she wasn't calling to tell me the cat had died. I told her that at 92, it was pretty much just a matter of time. Perhaps it's just because I shed so many tears over my other (favorite) grandpa. I don't know.

It could also be because he was the grandpa that we never really saw. I don't think he could ever tell my sister and I apart. That, plus the age difference made it pretty hard to just "hang out" with him. My mom's parents were much more involved with us when we were growing up.

*sigh* I don't know. All I know is that now I'm taking the whole day off on Thursday so I can go to his memorial service at 11 am and then catch my 4:25 flight to Kansas City. Hopefully I can forget about it for a little while this weekend, so I can be happy and celebrate.

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In totally unrelated news, I have my first modeling shoot booked for the beginning of October. I only put up a portfolio yesterday morning, and I've had about 30 photographers e-mail me at this point. I'm not getting paid for it, just doing it time for prints (TFP). I model for him, he takes the shots, and then we both get to add them to our portfolios. Apparently I'm attractive. Who knew? (Well, besides my husband, as he'll tell you.)

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