08.26.2003
3:54 p.m.
I'm going to explode
I think I may explode. Seriously. I don't know what my problem is today. I can't blame it on PMS, 'cause it's two weeks too early. I can't blame it on stress, because the stress level today isn't really bad. Hmm... I don't know. A tapeworm, maybe? (How in the hell do you get a tapeworm, anyway?) All I know is that it's not good.
So far today, I have consumed:
-2 cups of coffee
-3 doughnut holes (one chocolate, two white-ish and sort of unidentifiable flavors)
-a $1.52 tub of mixed fruit (cantalope, honeydew, and purple grapes) cut into pieces from the grocery store
-a not-very-good semi-hard TINY Bartlett pear
-most of a brownie covered with cookie dough frosting (my EVIL officemate brought it back for me when she went to lunch)
-all but one bite of a piece of white cake with lemon filling and buttercream frosting (damn co-worker's birthdays!)
-2 liters of water
That may not sound that bad (Ha! Who am I kidding?), but add to all that the fact that my husband is going to make a lovely dinner tonight with Carribean-spiced roast, green beans and/or sweet corn, and maybe a salad.
Seriously. I'm going to explode into millions of little pieces and SOMEONE is going to have to clean it up. At least I know it won't be me, because I'll be dead.
Hear that?
That noise you just heard is the sound of my stomach trying to stage a mutiny.
Eh.
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Guess what today is? It's TUESDAY! Guess what's on TV tonight? Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, OC, and Boy Meets Boy! Whoo hoo!
I just love my "gay shows."
Eh.
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Hey! Hey, YOU! Yeah, you! Over there! The one who found my diary doing a search for "wedding design for six pack of beer." Huh? What the hell were you looking for?
And you, over there, who did a search for "deerfly pictures" yesterday and found my diary... I hope to everything holy that you are doing some sort of school research project or report or something, and that I'm not having to learn about some new sort of insect fetish.
'Cause otherwise...ew. Just ew.
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