03.18.2003
1:02 p.m.
I'm a slacker
Yesterday ended up being a shitty, shitty day all around. After the suck-ass day I had at work, I got to class last night, and asked this guy who was already in the classroom if the exam last week was hard. (The one I missed when I was sick on Wednesday.) He said, "Oh! [Our professor] said that since we all just came back from Spring Break last week that we could take the exam today."
I was like a deer in headlights. My eyes went wide, my heartbeat totally sped up, and I started sweating like a fiend. I totally expected to have to make up the exam sometime this week, but there was NO WAY I could have known that we'd have it last night. I hadn't even looked at the stuff we'd been doing in two weeks. THEN, I looked in my backpack and realized I'd forgotten my fucking notebook!, so I couldn't even review my notes. Ugh, I was screwed.
Of course, the only thing that came to mind was, "God, this just SO goes along with my day so far..."
I ended up getting a 50 out of 100 on the test. The part that sucks REALLY BADLY about that is the fact that when I took the test, I thought I had done pretty well. As it turned out, not so much.
I could have avoided this situation by taking a little bit of time to study, of course, but I'm a slacker and I didn't. I don't know what's wrong with me this semester. At first, I had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I wasn't going to be good at everything I did (i.e. Algebra). I think now I've gone completely to the other end of the spectrum, and gotten so accepting of the idea that I might fail at some things that I've given up even trying.
I need someone to kick my ass into gear and make me start working harder at school. I used to be so focused, and now I'm just...not. Maybe I'm running out of steam already. It's only been a year since I went back to school. It's already going to take me about 6 years to get my Bachelors degree. I can't afford to take any time off to recoup. Shit. I long for the day when I'll be able to work part time and go to school full time, so I can concentrate on classes better...
That won't be happening for quite a while, though, so I'd better stop thinking about it... And just get my ass into gear.
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