08.30.2005
9:20 p.m.
I have resorted to a meme
In an effort not to go so long without updating, I am resorting to a meme. I hope no one is too disappointed.
(Thanks, Petrouchka!)
How tall are you?
5'4" (although I liked it better when I lived under the illusion that I was 5'5")
Can you crip walk?
I can barely walk normally
Do you like bondage?
I have to be in the mood for it, but oui.
Have you ever smoked heroin?
No. Practically anyone who has ever met me can tell you that I like to shoot my heroin with giant needles into my arms and between my toes and stuff. Good times...
Do you own a gun?
Personally, no. I do have access to my husband's semi-automatic .380, though. At some point I'd like to actually practice firing it. That's not to say the 2-minute over-the-phone lesson on loading and shooting it wasn't awesome.
Have you been to jail?
No. Thank God.
Rehab?
Nyet.
Who is your favorite villain?
Hmm... This is a tough one. I think maybe Nicholas Cage's Castor Troy in Face Off. He's evil, yet charismatic. He's also got wicked-looking guns.
What do you think of chicks in white belts?
Another tough one. I think I've been too busy thinking about the state of the government, the future of abortion in America and animal cruelty lately to think about chicks in white belts. I've got my priorities all wrong! I'll do better next time. I promise.
Are you gay?
I'm half gay. Does that count?
Are you Irish?
I think that might be one of the few nationalities not in my Heinz-57 blood.
Who would you punch if you could?
How long do you have? It's a REALLY long list. My arms would be worn down to stumps, if that tells you anything.
Do you smoke pot?
Who's asking? If you're involved in law enforcement, then no. I never touch the stuff. It is evil.
If you're not, I might partake on occasion. Maybe.
What do you think of hot dogs?
As much as they frighten me, I do enjoy them. As long as I don't think about where they come from. I enjoy them with chili, onions and mustard, like at the Root Beer Stand. I also enjoy a good Chicago-style hot dog (tomatoes, onions, pepperoncini, celery salt...and some other stuff I'm forgetting).
Mmm....hot dogs. Goddamn PMS.
What's your favorite Christmas song?
Umm...Silent Night?
What is your favorite smell?
Burning flesh.
Ha. Just kidding.
There are so many. Warm vanilla. The smell of the back of my husband's neck when we cuddle up to go to sleep at night. Whatever flavor Bath & Body Works hand wash stuff we have upstairs in the bathroom (sweet pea?). Chocolate. Baked goods baking. Baby head smell. The ocean.
What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Coffee on the weekends, water during the week.
Would you go to SF or NYC right now if you had the chance?
San Francisco. Or New York. Dammit! What if I cloned myself and went to both places at once?
What's your favorite college football team?
Umm...which one has the player with the cutest butt? That's pretty much all I pay attention to in college football.
Does your little brother listen to Reggie and the Full Effect?
Holy crap, I have a little brother! No one ever told me!
Do you ever fantasize about murder?
I plead the Fifth.
Would you fuck Victoria Gotti if you could?
Hell no. It would be like fucking a tree with a really shrill voice.
Who is your favorite artist right now?
Dali. It's always Dali.
Have you ever done ecstasy?
A few times. Wouldn't mind doing it again, if I weren't already missing so many brain cells.
Are you straightedge?
See previous drug-related answers.
Are you vegetarian?
I was a semi-vegetarian for 2.5 years once. Now, I like the cow a little too much. I can't eat pork anymore, though, unless I try really hard not to think about where it came from.
Hmm...I used to be really skinny when I was a vegetarian, too. Might be a good diet plan.
Do you shoplift?
Heck no. I used to, when I was young and dumb. Now I have too much to lose.
What's the last thing you stole?
My husband's heart.
Do you ski or snowboard?
Like I said above, I can barely walk. I've never been skiing or snowboarding, simply because I'm convinced that the very first time would be the time I get into a freak accident and break something.
What do you think of mustaches?
My dad has one. They're okay on some people.
Do you use hair gel?
I use mousse when my hair is wet, and soy paste when it's dry.
Do you sniff cocaine?
No. Never done it. Heard too many bad things about it.
Who is your favorite serial killer?
I don't have one. Is that good or bad?
Do you wear robes?
Robes, as in more than one? I'm not THAT big.
Do you believe in Bigfoot?
Like I saw on a special the other day: If there were a Bigfoot, there would be some sort of evidence. Bigfoot poo.
Have you ever made out with your friend's bf/gf?
No.
Have you ever been caught mid-hump?
No. Thank God.
Have you been shot?
With a bullet? Nope. With a needle? Unfortunately, yes.
Have you ever been hospitalized?
Only for a voluntary research study.
Do you like painkillers?
I like them before a wax. Unforunately, I ran out.
What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
My huge bodacious ta-tas. (Ha!)
I think my sense of humor.
Or maybe just the fact that I'm easy.
Heh.
Ever been in a bar fight?
No. When I want to fight, it's time to leave.
Do you have ADD?
Yes. Distractible and Inattentive type. Finally diagnosed a couple weeks after I turned 25, after having it all my life. I'm on my fourth medication now. Hopefully this one actually works for longer than 2 weeks.
Have you ever had a head injury?
Actually, no. Too bad. That would explain my occasional stupidity.
How many virgins have you slept with?
Two.
Do you love the pain a tattoo brings?
I do. There is nothing quite like it. I also enjoy the rush of endorphins about 10 minutes after the completion of a tattoo. Damn, I want another one.
White or black?
Crap. Now I've got that stupid Michael Jackson song in my head.
Hoodies or no hoodies?
Hoodies are fine if you're a young skate punk.
Would you stand in the rain naked for the person you love?
That kinda sounds like fun.
Would you fuck Danny of "The Real World"?
The Real World New Orleans? I don't think he'd be interested.
Ever gambled?
For about 10 minutes on our honeymoon. I played slots.
Ooh! And at Texas Hold 'Em tournaments.
Been on a ferris wheel in the rain?
Nope.
Stuck in an elevator?
No. And now "Love In An Elevator" by Aerosmith is in my head.
Your worst memory?
No, thank you.
Best memory?
Hard to choose just one.
Are you redneck?
Yes. You found me out. Does this mean I have to grow a mullett now?
Listening to: Margaret Cho - The Notorious C.H.O.
Reading: various magazines
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