03.31.2004
10:56 a.m.
Memorial Service
I've decided that grief is the most exhausting emotion. Usually sadness drains me, but add grief and a heavy sense of loss to that, and I barely have the energy to move.
I feel like I could sleep for a week.
Instead, I'm at work. Bereavement leave? What's that?
We only stayed at the visitation for about an hour before my mom suggested that my sister, husband, cousin and I take my dad to get a drink or some food or something. At about 6:15 PM my dad started saying, "Okay. I'm ready to go home now." The visitation lasted until 8 PM. (We stayed for an hour, and it was the longest damn hour of my life.)
We went to Brann's for some munchies and a drink, and returned just in time for the actual memorial service.
The service was beautiful.
Well, the music part of it, anyway. The rest was a bit too "Yay, GOD!" for my tastes.
There was a guy there who played an acoustic guitar and sang three songs...once at the beginning of the service, once in the middle, and again at the end. He had an absolutely amazing voice. The first song he played was "Fields of Gold" by Sting.
Lyrics:
"You'll remember me, when the west wind moves
Among the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in it's jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold
So she took her love for to gaze a while
Among the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold
Will you stay with me, will you be my love
Among the fields of barley
And you can tell the sun in it's jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold
I never made promises lightly
There've been some that I've broken
But I swear in the days still left
We will walk in fields of gold
We'll walk in fields of gold
Many years have past, since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down
As you lie in fields of gold
You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Among the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in it's jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold
When we walked in fields of gold
When we walked in fields of gold"
That pretty much did it for me. I started sobbing, while trying to look like I wasn't crying. Yeah, I'm sure that worked real well.
Lucikly, the funeral home had boxes of Kleenex on pretty much every flat surface in the room, so there was plenty to go around. Good thing. Many people there had a hard time stopping the flow of tears, myself included.
So, at least that part is done. Now the healing can begin.
Did I mention today is the two-year anniversary of my grandpa's death? Oh, happy day.
Thanks very much for the sweet notes and the comfort and support. It's appreciated, more than you could ever know.
Happy Wednesday.
Food I'm craving: the tuna melt I'll have for lunch today
Song in my head: "Fields of Gold"
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