02.04.2004
9:33 a.m.
Bad news/Good news
Bad news: I had a bit of a nervous breakdown last night.
Good news: It led to a slightly manic cleaning episode.
The crap laying all over the house was driving me insane. It had been for more than a few weeks. The box from the tub surround was huge and clumsy and in my way when I tried to do laundry or clean out the litter boxes. My husband said he would cut it up and take it out after we did the whole tub surround project, but as of last night, it was still down there.
A roll of insulation was living in our upstairs hallway. That, plus the wet/dry vac, plus the two stacks of my husband's books on the other side of the hallway (waiting to be taken to Goodwill) made for quite an obstacle course. Add all that crap, plus two cats who like to walk underfoot, and you have a broken neck waiting to happen. Frustration and stress were abundant every time I walked from the bedroom to the bathroom or vice versa.
Talking to my husband last night on the phone, trying to find my box of Shout wipes so I could clean a few smudges of makeup off my new shirt and wear it tomorrow... Getting frustrated because I couldn't find them. ANYWHERE. Finally a stream of curse words tumbled out of my mouth at the last straw: the shower curtain rod falling down into the shower as I tried to get into it to get the soap so I could clean my shirt with a washcloth.
Hung up with him, started cursing and screaming...punched the bathroom door several times (my bruised hand keeps reminding me of this), then burst into full-body sobs. Crying without knowing why I was crying...only knowing that there was SOMETHING inside me that needed to come out.
After 10 minutes or so of sobbing, curled into myself on the floor of the hallway, I got up and decided to do something about what had been pissing me off for so long. Grabbed a bag and emptied the bedroom and bathroom waste baskets into it. (The smell of stale urine from Alex's Pull-Ups from the weekend was disgusting.) Threw it, as well as a bag of trash that had been lying on the kitchen floor outside in the Herby (herby curby - what we call the big garbage thing provided to us by the garbage company).
Went downstairs and grabbed the tub surround box. Finally wrestled it upstairs, and managed to get it outside while simultaneously keeping Callie from running out.
Went back upstairs, grabbed the roll of itchy fiberglass insulation, lugged the thing down to the basement.
Went to the main floor, vaccuumed the foyer and stairs, while blowing a fuse about 14 times in the process. (The electrical system in our house is SO crappy...nearly everything on the same circuit.) Stomping downstairs each time, turning more things off each time in an effort not to blow the fuse again, eventually needing to go upstairs and locate the flashlight... Cats ran whenever they saw me.
Went upstairs, vaccuumed the hallway, the office, and the bathroom. Got out a Swiffer Wet and mopped the bathroom...took it downstairs and did the stairs and the foyer where the tile and drywall from the bathroom project had spilled a few weekends ago.
Took all the dirty towels from upstairs and put them into the washer.
Cleaned out the dish drainer in the kitchen, folded the laundry in the dryer and brought the clean clothes upstairs, after telling all the crap lying around the laundry room that I'd be back for it this weekend.
After my cleaning spree, I called my husband. Told him I was in a better mood after cleaning, and told him that either Saturday or Sunday would be our CLEANING DAY...the whole damn house. Everything that I've been wanting to do, that we've said we would but for some reason haven't gotten to yet will get done.
And maybe then my subconscious will be able to feel some peace.
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