01.14.2003
9.33 a.m.
Never There
"I need your arms around me, I need to feel your touch.
I need your understanding, I need your love so much.
You tell me that you love me so, you tell me that you care,
But when I need you, baby, you're never there."
-Cake
Having a husband that travels all the time sucks. Don't get me wrong... I love my husband. I wouldn't trade him for the world. He's a wonderful man. I just get frustrated when he's gone 70% of the time.
I know pretty much all my co-workers would love it if their husband/wife was gone more often, but I think it's just a case of the "grass being greener." "Everything in moderation," you know? It's only fun if it's not ALL THE TIME.
He works for a company that installs computer/software systems in hospitals. So, he's usually gone from Monday-Thursday every week. Sometimes he's gone from Sunday afternoon until Thursday night. Those weeks are the hardest. For some reason an additional night makes them seem extra long.
I used to get really, really lonely when it was just me in our big 2-story house. Then we got a cat. She helped a lot. Someone else to talk to at night. (I had started talking to myself way more than I was comfortable with.) We got another one for the first kitty to play with, and now it's like having two kids.
Sleeping by myself was really hard at first, but then I figured out that if I put about 3 extra pillows in bed with me, it's easier. Body pillows are good for that, too. So are two kitties sleeping right up next to you.
It helps that I'm in school 3 nights a week. It takes up my nights, so I don't just sit around and think about how much I miss my husband. It also keeps me out of trouble. :-) I have class on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays. That way, I can come home from work and clean up the house a bit on Thursday night before my husband comes home. (Confession: I'm a slob.)
The good side of him traveling so much is that when he comes home, we're very excited to see each other. We tend to get along better when he's been gone, because fighting would ruin what little time I have with him. We've been married for almost 4 months now, and I think our "Newlywed" phase will last longer simply due to the fact that we won't get bored of each other so quickly. It won't become the same old, same old. We also both enjoy his frequent flier miles.
Him being gone has both positives and negatives.
So, while he's gone, I get up and go to work, then go to school, then come home and watch t.v. or play on the internet for a few hours before I go to bed. Occasionally I'll clean up the house a bit or clean out the litter box. God, I lead an exciting life.
Don't you wish you were me?
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