11.30.2005
6:32 p.m.
Random Things #957
The best subject line on a spam e-mail EVER: What?? leopard?
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A conversation
Me: What do you want for Christmas?
Mr. SG: A million dollars
Me: Something I can actually get for you.
Mr. SG: A monkey
Me: Something I CAN ACTUALLY GET FOR YOU.
Mr. SG: A small monkey?
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The cats and forensics
On Monday night we went out for drinks with friends and then to the mall to find a dress for my work Christmas party. When we got home, we both went upstairs. I yelled to him that someone (i.e. him) had left the toilet seat up. Then I laughed when I saw what else had been done to the toilet.
I said, "Oh my god, there's water all over the toilet seat. Someone's been playing in the toilet!"*
Then I pointed out the marks in the toilet scum (We clean. All the time. Shut up.) that looked like a paw or two had accidentally fallen in and been scrambling to get out.
And then, the final clue. A small kitty whisker floating there in the toilet bowl.
I said, "The kitties need to learn about forensics. Then maybe they wouldn't leave such big clues."
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*Note: The kitty playing in the toilet was Azrael, who has some sort of very strange obsession with water. She loves playing with water...toilet water, water in her water dish/drinking fountain, water in the sink...any water. She will systematically remove all of the water from her water bowl by scooping it out with her paw. She is the main reason we have to put the toilet seat down all the time. I am so well-trained now that I constantly find myself putting the toilet seat down no matter where I am. Mr. SG, on the other hand, is a different story.
A funny story about this: One night a month or so ago Mr. SG had gone to the bathroom last before we laid down in bed to go to sleep. We're laying there in the dark and quiet when we start hearing the *sploosh* *splash* sound that means there's a kitty playing in the toilet water.
I said, "Did you put the toilet seat down?"
He said, "I thought I did. Maybe not." and went into the bathroom to check.
When he came back into the bedroom, he informed me that the toilet seat was in fact up, and when he turned on the light Az was sitting there looking like she'd been caught in the act.
She apparently never got the memo that says cats are not supposed to like water. Her memo must have said "spend most of your life doing everything you can to take water out of whatever container it is in". Or something.
Listening to: Gorillaz - Demon Days (Run out and buy this CD NOW. It rocks.)
Reading: Flush by Carl Hiaasen
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